Joy and Peace

Our Pastor has been preaching on Joy the last 2 weeks. He covered the differences between joy and happiness because its so easy to mistake one for the other. It just brought to mind how much I struggle with this.

For ages now, I have grown more and more weary of chasing down these things we call joy and peace. I’m already doing so much of what he described as mandatory to obtain them. However, they just seem more and more elusive as the days go by. It’s possible that my expectations of what it’s supposed to look like are skewed and I’m always open to the Spirit to being shown that. For example, I cannot count how many times I have come to church on a Sunday morning expecting to meet God, had an incredibly real meeting with Him while I’m there only to watch the enemy steal the joy and peace I experienced before I even leave the church parking lot. I suspect I’m not the only one with this problem, I just happen to have the balls to talk about it because I’m
so hungry for both of them. I think we all know what happens when we pray for patience (our patience starts getting tested). I’ve
experienced now so often that praying for peace in my home almost always unleashes some kind of hell that blows the roof sky high because I live with people who have anger issues. Maybe that’s just normal with having teenagers? I mean I have 3 older ones but I didn’t get to experience raising teenagers because of a divorce. Anyway, I literally stopped praying for peace because it seems like there is more of it when I don’t pray for it. Am I deceived? Probably and I ask the Lord daily to show me “the level of my deception” as one older, wiser gentleman always used to say. My point is that on some level, it just seems like praying for these things seems hopeless and only means there is less of it. I wish that it was just a season but it’s been that way in my life for years. It’s so odd because I’ve personally witnessed Jesus pick me up and carry me through the valley of the shadow of death. I experienced the peace that passes understanding when my son died so it’s not something I’ve never experienced before. I’ve
personally witnessed his provision for me and my family over and over and over again. I’ve experienced pockets of joy in my life. But for whatever reason, these 2 things (joy and peace) are just the most elusive gifts I’ve ever pursued. I’ve experienced them for 5 minutes at a clip….they’re not sustaining like His provision has been in my life. Maybe I really am confusing joy with happiness and I need to chew on that for a while.